the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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