I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
