my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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