A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
