I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I just googled if crying burns calories
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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