Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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