Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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