You're a womanizer and a bitch.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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