i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
