Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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