doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
