I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
