the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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