so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
