"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
