dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
