yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
