Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
