just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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