That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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