I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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