dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
