I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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