He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Randomize
