I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
