Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
