So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I am naked and annoyed.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
