Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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