you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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