butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
