69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
