so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
