The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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