My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
the day after is always just damage control
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
