your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
