what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
