Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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