Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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