it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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