addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
babies were throwing up all over the place
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
