i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
