Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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