The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
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