your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Umm I'm too high to move.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
