her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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