yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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