..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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