It's Friday. Sex?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
