I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
