you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
