I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
